As the curtain fell on the 2023 regular season of college football, I learned about Hawai’i football’s great tradition for their seniors:
Yesterday, we continued our team tradition of carrying our seniors into the ocean at our team hotel. Can’t wait to watch the amazing things these guys are going to do in life, but the job isn’t finished yet. One more together…it’s gameday! #BRADDAHHOOD @HawaiiFootball pic.twitter.com/BQ4neF9g5b
— Savannah Reier (@ReierSavannah) November 25, 2023
With that in mind, we are performing a similar task—sadly, only in theory—with the nearest body of water to each Big Ten campus. I mean real bodies of water, not fake “it’s a ‘lake’ in the middle of campus” nonsense when it’s just a pond that drunk frat dudes piss in.
And, for shits and giggles, we’ll rank them, 14-to-1, by pleasantness and spectacle of a RIVALRY WEEK water-jump.
14. Rutgers Scarlet Knights
- Location: Raritan River, outside SHI Stadium
- Depth: 4.48 feet
- Water Temp, Nov. 25: 42.26 F
This is how the top hit for my Google search “Can you swim in the Raritan River” went:
On a sweltering day in May, Rutgers students gather on the banks of the sparkling Raritan River and wade into the clear water to swim. Further out, students in kayaks and canoes also enjoy cooling off on the river. Across the river in Highland Park, people swim and relax on the beaches at Donaldson Park.
This scenario is a fantasy, of course, but could such a future for the lower Raritan river ever exist? [Rutgers EOAS]
So we’re just going to slot that here at #14 and move on, shall we?
13. Maryland Terrapins
- Location: Paint Branch/Lake Artemesia, College Park
- Depth: who knows?
- Water Temp, Nov. 25: somewhere around 50 F?
I could not find information on either of these extremely icky bodies of water, but at least it’s warmer than the toxic runoff in Piscataway.
12. Michigan Wolverines
- Location: Huron River, Ann Arbor
- Depth: 12.5 feet
- Water…
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